tiramisu

tiramisu

Thursday 31 August 2006

"I like blue!"

It had been a year to date. The pain had left her but the memory remained. The memory - not of the sight of his slow-moving silhouette, not of the smell of his shower gel after he had just showered, not of the touch of his fingers as he tapped her shoulder ever so gently as if he were worried that she might get disturbed from her reverie. It was the memory of his quiet voice, the sincerity of his words, the searching look in his eyes that sought her trust, her faith in him, her love, her heart.

Fate had been unkind to him but he had moved on, rediscovered a stronger person within himself. She admired his spirit. For the first time in her life she felt like believing in the old adage, 'love at first sight'... The battle between her mind and her heart raged underneath her calm demeanour. For the first time, her mind gave in. She wanted to believe in him, to care for him, to give him all that her heart was capable of giving. It was not too late, she thought, to start teaching herself to lose herself to somebody in this way.

His first gift to her was of the colour of the sea - as deep and unknowable as the sea. She embraced it with trembling fingers, curious and excited, nervous and afraid, but trusting and believing.

Today, she remembered him, his ways, his gifts, ... and the pain. He did not leave ... he fled, no, escaped. From her?... from himself... yes, from himself.

She watched the dark ocean waters on the evening tide as she stood near her bedroom window. They were a deep blue. Beautiful, she thought, love is beautiful. He had escaped, but she had not lost the courage to love.

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"Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave. "

Friday 4 August 2006

If it makes me happy...

I've gone a whole month without a single post! What kept me busy?... Let's see...

There was work, with several late nights spent over perfecting the format of the presentation(s) to be made to my client;
there was the commute, with the variegated colours of human existence to watch out for on the way from my residence to the workplace;
there were the quiet weekends spent catching up with family over steaming cups of chai and self-made pakodas ...
enough and more of the regular stuff...

But there were many new experiences this past month, making it one of the more interesting times I've spent lately.

The current project team is the largest I've ever worked on. Keeping the team together and coordinated is such a big exercise in itself that my boss actually assigned that part of his job to me! Although I had learned at b-school what project management was about, I could never have been prepared for all that it could encompass.

The first realisation came when a colleague came to me with the complaint that he didn't have a rental car to go back home in... hmm... let's see now, I said, project management could involve logistics for the project team. Done, I will ensure that all team members have their transportation requirements taken care of.

Then a bunch of guys, looking very frustrated at having being locked out of the office for twenty minutes, approached me and pronounced in unison, "Our Access Cards do not work!" Wow! How could my team work if they were not allowed into the workplace?! I took it upon myself to escalate the issue.

An intern from a foreign land had been on the project team for a couple of months. He admitted to me, over dinner one evening, that he identifies with all that is rebellious in nature, but wanted to conform as far as possible in this new country with all its peculiar sensitivities. I quite like the guy. He was especially having trouble relating to some uptight members of the client team. Knowing that I had spent long enough in the world of work, he came to me for advice. Along with a patient hearing, I offered him the much-needed "advice". From then on, my cabin has been designated as the "HR" (for Human Resources) room. Another facet of project management?... I guess...

The other day the boss asked me how the team was doing... what? Well, you know, how is the morale of the team, and such. Umm... I took a little longer to reply than was expected. "Hey, why don't you organise some team events for the whole lot?" Huh? All right, I suppose project management does involve ensuring high levels of productivity for the team, which includes giving them a breather and a chance to bond with their colleagues informally. So now, in addition to being the Logistics Officer, the Admin-in-charge and the Chief HR Officer, I am also the Chief Entertainment Officer for the project team!

Fortunately for me, there were enough instances to ensure a boost in my self-confidence along with the expansion of my portfolio.

Another intern from a foreign land was planning a holiday with some personal friends and family. He insisted that I join the company 'cause he wanted to let them know how much fun some of the people he worked with were! Everyone likes to be popular but I was quite taken aback by the sincerity with which he asked; quite touched too that he felt like I made him feel at home and looked after. [Actually, another colleague almost warned me that I might be getting too motherly about my team members... am not yet sure how to respond to that...hmm]

One of the girls on the team (a very small no.) has almost embarrassed me with the no. of compliments she has sent my way. She likes my wardrobe, she says, and the way I use it. Now that's something a girl should feel good about! :)

A junior colleague had one drink too many on one of those after-parties following a team dinner. He had acquired a sombre expression and had been waxing eloquent for a few minutes on the meaning of life. At one point in his soliloquy, he fixed his gaze on me and said solemnly, "One day I will write a book on you." Where did that come from?! "You are a perfectionist but an unassuming one, how do you manage it?" I'm still wondering about the nuances of that statement. It certainly massages my ego that anyone should want to emulate me but I worry just a little of appearing unreachable... not so perfect, after all, ... and thank God for that!

On reflection, I'm glad that project management has not consumed me completely. I finally put into action a long overdue item on my 'To Do' list: taking my salsa lessons! It's great getting back to dancing again. And I can't wait for the jazz lessons that are beginning next month.

It's been an eventful month in all. I'm enjoying feeling good about being myself, stretching myself. All right, with all the air that's quickly filling up my head, I might start levitating soon. Time to call it a post. :)

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"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."